On the Causes and Effects of G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome)

A quick look at the Wikipedia article on G.A.S. revealed a shocking fact: I am a narrow-minded bigot. Really, I thought only musicians suffered from this condition. Although it only took seconds to say, “Yah, well, of course photographers too,” it took a few minutes to understand how fishing enthusiasts could have G.A.S. But then you have to consider that anyone willing to wake up in the middle of the night so he can go stand waist deep in water is insane enough to have will naturally develop G.A.S.

The Primary Cause of G.A.S.

No one, except the filthy rich, starts playing music with great gear. Instead, we typically begin with cheap pieces of crap: guitars with horrible intonation, M-Audio keyboards*, whatever. Because we start at the bottom and work our way up, musicians are, by definition, incredibly wonderful people. Now, as we begin to progress as musicians, we naturally start to think that we deserve better. So, we want to buy a better instrument, which, in our minds, will make us sound better. In these early stages, buying a better instrument will, nine times out of ten, actually make you sound better. Unless you are filthy rich, in which case you are forever cursed to sound like a third-rate Richard Clayderman.

However, the problem starts here: there is always a better instrument out there. And, even if the next instrument is not inherently better, it sounds different from what we currently own. Maybe it is a vintage classic. 

Maybe it is new and red. 

 Or blue. 

At the very least, it has lots of flashing lights and knobs and/or sliders to play with. 

(Editor’s note: the Gaia is causing serious G.A.S. pains these days, but is likely to lose out to a Juno-Di, which has some terribly appealing features).

Whatever the reason, we must own it. We deserve it. We even have a chart.

Dealing with G.A.S.

As was conclusively proven by the 1999 Nobel Prize winning research into the subject, the complete suppression of G.A.S. leads to spontaneous combustion. While this would be an awesome stage effect, it suffers from an extreme limitation: you can do it only once.

Now, there is a concept called hedonic adaptation. In general, hedonic adaptation refers to how people quickly become used to changes, great or terrible, in order to maintain a stable level of happiness. For consumers, hedonic adaptation means buying something new because they stopped getting pleasure from a previous purchase. It has been suggested that one way consumers can deal with hedonic adaptation is to buy many small pleasures instead of one big one. So, instead of buying a big new synth, you buy a Punk Console (which finally arrived after three months), a Monotron, a drum machine… Guess what – that doesn’t work. I want a new synth.

Questions that Need to be Addressed

A more detailed list of questions can be found HERE, but I believe it can be boiled down to the three basics:

1. Does it do something that you can’t do now?

2. Does it have lots of flashing lights and knobs and/or sliders to play with?

3. Can you afford it?

If you have answered yes to any two of these questions, get thee to a store immediately.

Shopping in Istanbul 

In one way, Istanbul is a very Asian city: in the Western world, a store that sells something would not open right beside a store that sells the exact same thing. I first noticed this while living in South Korea, where I would see strip malls that had only bridal shops. Across the road from where we live now, there are six pharmacies within 500 m. 

Now, this set-up isn't really helpful when buying medicine, because you don't need to compare prices. However, if you want to buy a new musical instrument in Istanbul, it is easier than looking on the Internet. Istanbullu know I am talking about Tünel. And yes, Tünel is the Turkish for tunnel. In this case, a tunnel built by the French in 1871 for what is possibly the world's shortest subway system - the tram goes it goes up the hill, and then it goes back down the hill. A one way trip takes 90 seconds. For this discussion, it is the top of the hill that matters because this is the home of Istanbul's music stores. Nice place, you really ought to visit. I'll be there sometime within the next two weeks, relieving my G.A.S. pains.

Peace

TJ